Twenty-two years after making that fateful deal with the cosmic entity to forfeit eros for agape, unwittingly undermining love as a political force for revolution, and five years of intimate relational solitude, the person I called for in a love ritual at the beginning of this year has finally come into my life! Now, a month later, laub and I are ALL IN and we are merging. But what does that mean? Beyond fetishized role playing and the utilitarian aspects of our relationship, is this love? Is this real? Can we merge while simultaneously expand outward, creating something other than a closed system of coupling? The one thing we do know is that we both have an enormous capacity to believe and that we are connected through faith. Faith and love for laub, however, is complicated and informed by laub's Mennonite upbringing, a love from Jesus that is beyond human capacity and a subsequent loss of faith when laub "became gay" and left the church. Through adventuring within it becomes increasingly clear that our relationship is not just between us; it is a polyamorous relationship with Jesus, The Revolution, faith, honesty, and various belief entities we are committed to exorcise in order to discover what's underneath, a continual discovering of love and faith. We are essentially creatures having a non-normative relationship with emotions, driven by curiosity, searching for a way out; and the only way to forge a way out is to go ALL IN! (@agapeanderos)